Heavy Smoker's Mask
*Why smoke one when you can smoke fourteen?
With no-smoking on public transport, non-smoking offices and non-smoking restaurants, it can be tough to get a cigarette in at all these days. So when you do find an acceptable smoker's niche, you may want to make up the lost ground. The Heavy Smoker's Mask allows you to smoke fourteen whole cigarettes in the same time it would normally take to smoke one. So even a sixty-a-day smoker need only take five cigarette breaks to more than satisfy his or her habit.
(Excerpted from "101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions" by Kenji Kawakami; published 1995 by W.W. Norton & Co., NY)